Jay: Oh, look who it is. The fuck'n human vacuum.
Girl: Scumbag. What are you doing?
Jay: Nothing. Just hanging out with Silent Bob and his cousin.
Girl: He's your cousin?
Jay: Yeah, and he's from Russia too.
Girl: No way. What part of Russia?
Jay: I don't fucking know. Do I look like his fucking biographer? Olaf, what part of Russia are you from?
Olaf: Moscow.
Girl: He only speaks Russian?
Jay: Na, he speaks some English, but he can not speak it good like we do.
Girl: Is he staying here?
Jay: Na, he's moving to the big city this week. He wants to be a metal singer.
Girl: No way!
Jay: Swear. Olaf, metal! That's his fucking metal face. Olaf, girl nice?
Olaf: Skrelnick.
Jay: That's fucked up, man.
Girl: What did he say?
Jay: I don't know man, but this guy is a character.
Girl: He really wants to play metal?
Jay: Yeah, he's got his own band in Moscow. It's called "Fuck Your Yankee Blue Jeans" or something like that.
Girl: That doesn't sound metal.
Jay: You gotta hear him sing. Olaf, "Berserker!" Come on, man, "Berserker!"
Girl: Does he sing in English or Russian?
Jay: In English. Come on, "Berserker!" Girls think sexy.
Olaf: Da. Da.
Jay: Oh watch wait he's gonna sing it. Watch this is too funny.
Jay: That's fucking funny, man!
Girl: Did he say "making fuck?"

Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back

Buy This
Original Poster
Jay: We need to Kick Some Ass, Yeah!
Jay: Now I feel good today Silent Bob. We're gonna make some money, and you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna to that party, we're gonna get some pussy. I'm gonna fuck this bitch. I gonna fuck this bitch. I'll fuck anything that moves.
Jay: What the fuck you looking at, I'll kick your fucking ass. Shit yeah, don't that motherfucker owe me ten bucks. You know, fuck'n tonight, we're gonna rip off this fuckers head, take out his fuck'n soul. Remind me if he tries to buy something I'm gonna shit in the motherfuckers bag.
Jay: What's up baby. What's up sluts. Silent Bob, your a rude motherfucker you know that. But you cute as hell. Like to go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys and make like a circus seal.
Jay: Ew, you fucking faggot. I hate guys, I love women.

Kevin Smith &
Jason Mews

Buy This Photo
Lady: They, they say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good. Are either one of these any good? Sir!?
Randal: What?
Lady: Are either one of these any good?
Randal: I don't watch movies.
Lady: Uh, well have you heard anything about either one of them?
Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
Lady: You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these.
Randal: Nope.
Lady: Well what about these two.
Randal: Oh they suck.
Lady: These are the same two movies. You weren't paying any attention.
Randal: No I wasen't.
Lady: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse ma'am.
Lady: I beg your pardon.
Randal: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
Lady: I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
Randal: And I hope it feels good.
Lady: You hope what feels good?
Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the short comings of others is there.
Lady: Well this is the last time I rent here.
Randal: You will be missed.
Lady: Screw You!
Randal: Hey, your not allowed to rent here any more.
Jay: Yeah!
Randal: Screw me?